Tuesday, December 11, 2007

First Post

This is the first post of the blog and I hope to stir up some discussion of sorts. It occurs to me that, life has become a mutated concept since the dawn of civilization. That is to say, we currently seem to become further and further isolated from one another even though we are more connected than ever. Why do you suppose that is? I'll let you mull that over for a while, in the mean time I feel like sharing a passage from Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground. It is rather lengthy I hope someone has the stamina to get through it though.

"Well, in short, actions that all, perhaps, commit; but which, as though purposely, occurred to me at the very time when I was most conscious that they ought not be committed. The more conscious i was of goodness and of all that was 'sublime and beautiful,' the more deeply I sank into my mire and the more ready I was to sink altogether. But the chief point was that all this was, as it were, not accidental in me, but as though it were bound to be so. It was as though it were my most normal condition, and not in the least disease or depravity, so that at last all desire in me to struggle against this depravity passed. It ended by my almost believing (perhaps actually believing) that this was perhaps my normal condition. But at first, in the beginning, what agonies I had endured in that struggle! I did not believe that it was the same with other people, and all my life I hid this fact about myself as a secret. I was ashamed (even now, perhaps, I am ashamed): I got to the point of feeling a sort of secret abnormal, despicable enjoyment in returning home to my corner on some disgusting Petersburg night, acutely conscious that that day I had committed a loathsome actions again, that what was done could never be undone, and secretly, inwardly gnawing, gnawing at myself for it, tearing and consuming myself till at last the bitterness turned into a sort of shameful accursed sweetness, and at last- into positive real enjoyment!...it was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier, that it was horrible, but that it could not be otherwise; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; or if you did wish to, even then you would do nothing; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into."

As humans we can think of the infinite possibilities, both positive and negative, but this is merely just that, thought. Without action this thinking means little of anything and tends to create this defeatism that either option we take is clouded with doubt and uncertainty. That is just life though, and yes his primary aim was to explain show how imperfect we really are, but this mentality is only one side of humanity. To really allow this to become a whole mentality and a whole set of morals and values, only allows you one half of the truth. Those that defy the logic and the norms must exist for anything to exist. Humans are far from being perfectible, but that does not mean anyone can just say "oh well," and give up. For every discontent person there exists another who is their opposite.

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